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Wednesday the 2nd of February 2005

8:35 AM

Not sure of anything right now!

Not sure when I'll be able to get back on-line..

Not sure where we are going to live...

Not sure of anything right now...

 And ya know what..it's so dang scary!

We have until 6am tomorrow morning to be out of this house..we aren't even 1/2 way there yet..hmm..maybe we are..I know that we have one whole storage filled up..Hubby had to rent another one..still have a house full of furniture..just might leave a few things behind..just blows me away all the stuff we have..before we moved into this house we got rid of so much..so we thought..<shaking head>

We have looked and looked for a place to live..found out one of the problems is..grrr..get this..rent (yes, we are poor and can't afford a down on a house) anyhow..rent has gone up at least 50% WHY..because of the fricking Michael Jackson trial..people are renting out rooms to the media..people are advertising in the paper..will rent short term for those that are here for the MJ trial..few houses we called on..told us..well..right now we are waiting for call backs from so and so..(media) if they don't take the house we will give you a call..guess they rather make a quick buck for a short time then have someone long term..I don't get it..this town (city) has gone nuts..all around the court house it totally blocked off now..court house is right in the middle of the city..right next to our mall..rumor has it..and I haven't check it out..don't care to either..that the bottom floor of the mall parking is now pay parking..OMG...also we were told that our city taxes are going to go up to pay for this trial/security..

sooo..okay..we can't find a place to live..we called around last night..and..I swear..I don't know why I didn't think of it..but the hotels also have doubled in prices..at least the ones that we thought we could afford..I can just imagine how much the nice ones are..guess we are going to have to check the ones that ummm..well..that I wouldn't leave my critters in over night...thats another thing..what to do with our animals..not so worried about the dogs..friends can watch them..but my cats..

I know ya are thinking..why are you on here if you have all that moving to do..just letting my body warm up..I am so sore..also..

Wanted to let who ever know (Sheila) I'll be away for a bit..not sure how long..I have your number..get ahold of you when I can..computer is going to have to go into storage for now..have to much stuff that I'm going to have to keep in my bronco..not enough room for the computer..

Hubby and I really want to just go buy a little camp trail..little..because right now that is all we can afford..funny thing..right now if the one person that does have a house for us..well..he's checking out our application and 2 others..if he called right now to say we have the house..guess what..we don't have enough to move in..with the deposit and all..we are so screwed right now..anyhow..get a trailor and just stay at the KOA that is at the end of town..would be cheap..could save some money..wouldn't have to worry so much about the cats..but..then we have the girls to worry about..where would they go..what would they do?

  We do have one other option..we think..rent to own..it's going to cost us more a month..for awhile that is..and the lady we talked to seemed so nice and so willing to help us out...then we have the problem of..Hubby not working right now..on workmen comp..ect..see what I mean..we are so screwed no matter where we turn...

Well..time to get moving..sorry to be such a downer...I sure will miss my enternet time..it's like saying good bye to a good friend..I know I'll have it back..but..ya know..kind of just hurts!

Don't forget my yahoo address..after today..AOL should be gone..

Take care..big big hugs to my buddies!

Just me,


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Sunday the 23rd of January 2005

11:05 AM


Have so much going through my mind..

Just can't sort things out..

Hate this feeling..

also..have so much to do..and..where do I start...I have to start packing..duhh..know that..has to be done..everything has to be backed up..just wish I knew where we were going..

  Why does life have to be so hard?

lets see..on the bright side..Oldest just called..she's on her way home from vegas..sounds like they have had a wonderful time..she's so funny though..I said to her..you do sound a little grumpy..she's like..I just want to be home..my girls..they are so cute..they think and act like they are so grown up..but..few days away..and..they just want to be home. Ya know what..I just want her to be home too..it's been peaceful with her gone..hehe..but..sure do miss her and that knockle head boy friend of hers.

Now..my youngest..she's in heaven with her sister gone..wonder if the 2 of them will ever get along..hmm

Jamie..she's always on the go..getting a tad worried about her always going to the casino too..I know she's not spending much money..and..sometimes she doesn't even gamble..just goes with her friends..she has won a few times and I think what she did was great..when she did win..she went right to the atm machine and deposited the money. She's funny she said..if I hung on to the money I most likely would have gambled it away..I knew if I deposited it.(guess you don't get charge for making a deposite).no way would I do a withdraw from the machine..that would cost me a couple of bucks..<giggling> she really is a tight wad..she knows which atm's charge her and which ones don't..no way would she waste a buck or 2 on one of them..but..thinks nothing of throwing 20 bucks into a slot machine..hmmmm 

I really don't think she's ever lost more than 20 here and there..in away..wish she would..that would really upset her big time. I do know that is alls she does bring with her..because if she only has a 20..she either gets change from us..as many ones as possible..or goes to the market to get change for the 20 before she goes over to the casino. Goofy kid!

Her puppy is doing great..what a smart dog..all the dogs we have ever had hubby always works with them..and they are well behaved. This puppy though..I swear you can teach it a trick in like minutes..she remembers..Hubby was so worried that Jamie was over loading the puppy with tricks..then..was so blown away at how easy that pup will do things..she's so fun. Ya should see her waving bye bye..hehe..it's just the cutest thing..must say..she is having trouble learning to catch the frisbie (how ever that is spelled) right now we are just using one of those soft kind (cloth) when you throw it to her..she jumps up and catches it with her paws..usually smacking herself in the mouth with her paws..makes the loudest sound..I can't find a "real" frisbie, I'm going to have to pick on up for her. Even when you play catch with her with a ball..she always uses her paws to catch it..just weird..hehe

Not sure if I mentioned this last time in my journal..but..I'm thinking of taking a leave of absents..just so many things going on..

  Just haven't felt well lately..mentally and physically. Hubby sure doesn't feel good at all.

Then with having to move..grrr..I know, I know..we opened up a can of worms when we told our landlord months ago we wanted to move..it's come down to going to court tomorrow..no clue how any of that works..but from everything I have read..they can actually throw us out tomorrow..well..I hope to god that they give us a few days to get out..I'm sure they do.

 Part of me is scared to death..other part is..okay..this is meant to be..time to FLY..

 Just wish my girls either were still little..or out on there own..even though that thought makes me so sad..guess I want them to be my babies forever..

If it was just hubby and I..yep..we would just FLY..

When our girls were little..and we were going through some really hard times..yep..we were actually homeless for abut 3 months..wasn't so bad really..<smiles> girls thought we were on one long vacation..guess I can't say we were totally homeless..we did have a camping trailer..and..well..just camped for 3 months..lol..must say..we were a sight. the 4 of us..our 2 dogs..2 cats..rabbit, one bird and our fish..all in one little campsite with our tiny old trailer..really was one of the best times of our lives..Hubby and I laugh about it all the time.

Too bad we still don't have that trailer..but..no way would our girls go for that. They would just die!

 Few months ago..I came across this journalRuth Store News - A Richards Bend Production hope you don't mind me putting your link here. This man to me..is so amazing..I am so jealous of how this man lives..Hubby and I have always, always wanted to do what he has done..only thing..I couldn't live where it snowed..even though everyone says..you get used to the winter months..no what..<giggling> I've lived here on the coast of Cali..and like today..it's in the 70's..we do have some cold months..and..I haven't gotten used to them in my 40 some years here..when it's gets down in the 50's..you should hear me cry!

One day though..one day..Hubby and I will be able to "fly" lol right now though..need some water wings to help us from drowning.

Time to get things done around here.. If I don't make it on till next weekend..or..gosh..who knows when..

You all take care!


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Sunday the 16th of January 2005

10:51 AM

Mean people!

 Got me a killer headache going on this morning...grrrrr..

Just some thoughts here..

 why is it some people..just think they are so much better than others?

 Not sure why I even bother reading that message board over on AOL..grrrr..I am going to stop..I know I read it to find some new journals to read..but then I get hooked on reading the "drama" which at times it can be so funny..but there is this one person..that..OMG..I would love to just choke..bad bad bad..shouldn't let anyone get to me like that..I think what really bothers me the most about this person..besides being flat out mean..wait..maybe thats what really bothers me..now she says things like..if you have something to say to me..e-mail me..no reason to post it all over the message board..then I guess this person e-mails her..and what does she do..posts it on the board..saying how this person is so low that they have to e-mail her mean things..<rolling eyes> There are people on that board she doesn't like..and she lets it be known..come on..keep that stuff to yourself..she totally hates men..shoot..I think men fight more fair than any woman..the thing is..she's good too..maybe that is what bothers me so much..meaning....she sure can put up a fight..bash others..shoot..hehe..I know I would never write anything to her..she is so good with turning everything around..this kind of person..I can deal better with face to face..but then again..I wouldn't have this kind of person in my life..I've noticed others totally suck up to her too..guess they are afraid..shoot..I know they are..the ones that suck up to her are also.."good fighters" think they figure they can't go up against her..so might as well join her. I know..again..shouldn't let this bother me..but dang it it does..I just hate when people are so mean to others..hate when people think they are so much better..

Have to say though..because of that message board..I have made a few wonderful friends..so..just keeping those and going to try my hardest..hehe..not to go back and read anything on those boards.

 Well..hehe..wont be able to once our free AOL time is up..which..shoot..I need to check that..

  think I'm in a slump..just feeling yucky..feeling kind of..hmmm..scared..worried..I don't know..just too many things going on I guess!

 did have a good laugh with my daughter last night..first time she's came home drunk..she wasn't that drunk..she sure was funny though..My poor baby..she is always so worried about what hubby and I think of her..she knows we are so proud of her..sure she can be a bitch..and..hehe..like that person on the message board..she's good at being one..both my girls are good girls..never ever been in any kind of trouble..well.."real" trouble..sure they both have done some dumb kids things...but..Yep..I'm am a proud mom..so blessed to have 2 wonderful rotten daughters...

Poor baby..hehe..was puking so bad last night..her b/f was running around taking care of her..what a nice guy..cuz..hehe..alls hubby and I could do was laugh and tease her..she'll be hating life today..but..thats good..it will remind her of why she never drinks..hehe..now tell me..does blueberry vodka sound good..she was saying..but mom..it tasted like an otter pop..I said..sure it did..but hows it tasting the 2nd time around..<giggling> as she's puking..she says..umm...mom..not like any otter pop I've ever had..it was just too funny! Bad mom huh?

Gosh...guess I should get moving..just had to vent a little..dang message board and mean people..grrrrr...


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Saturday the 15th of January 2005

9:49 AM


I only had 3 real work days this week..and dang it..I only made it 2 days..I went to bed Thursday night feeling really yucky..woke up Friday morning feeling really yucky..but got up..got the shower going..turned the coffee on..turned on the heater..turned on my little bathroom heater..then..yep..went back and turned everything off and called work said I'd be in a little late..thinking if I just laid down for another 1/2 hour..which turned into an hour..which then turned into the whole day! Hubby's fault..he kept saying..you need to stay home..your staying home..go lay back down..hehe..now how could I fight that?

  I am so lucky that I do have a hubby that takes such good care of me..to good sometimes I think..I am so spoiled...and so loved.

  sure we have our fights...we butt heads a lot actually...I've said this before..we have been though some really, really hard times..were close friends just thought I was nuts to stay..thing is..when you love someone..truly love them..you don't leave when things aren't going right..

now..I'm not saying..stay with your man no matter what..if my hubby ever hit me or ever cheated on me..that would be it..I'd be out of her so fast..then again..I just don't know how it would be to be married to someone I wasn't friends with..

 Just been reading a few journals where some of these woman are so unhappy..and my heart goes out to them..can't say how or what I'd would do if I was in their shoes..I just wish they could have what I have..(to my friends that are reading this right now..I want you to know the journals I'm talking about are not yours..and have nothing to do with yours)

Few nights ago..my girls said something like..you and dad never do anything..you always stay home..

not true..hehe..we make our wal-mart runs..do the food shopping together..we do all of that stuff together...we have fun usually when we go out shopping..and there are times when hubby doesn't want to go into a store with me..so..he takes a little nap in the car while I go shop..

 We used to go out all the time..out like dancing, bars..stuff like that..and we still do from time to time..but..hehe..guess we are getting old and just rather stay home..

I enjoy him..we can sit and talk for hours..about nothing..hehe..or..talk about important things..

 Sure there are things that drive me nuts about him..and I'm sure I drive him nuts...

  We really are so opposite from each other it's kind of funny..then again..we both have the same kind of morals and feeling about a lot of things..<giggling>

Are ya thinking..why is she going on about him..because...It just feels so good to be in loved and to be loved..

Anyhow..enough of the mushy stuff..

 so sad to hear my friend is leaving bravenet because of all the spam she's been getting on her Tag board. <knock on wood> hasn't happened to me yet!

 She's the one that got me hooked her in the first place.. Sheila..I'll miss your journal..but..hehe..I know where to find your other ones..hey..wait..does that mean you are also going to delete your help journal? Hmm..note to self..need to send her an e-mail!hehe..sorry..had to do that big so I wouldn't forget.

 Also..I'm a big believer in the power of prayer and/or sending happy/well wishes thoughts to friends. Sheila is such a wonderful person..she's such a special friend of mine..She's going through  some rough times right now..sooo...PLEASE send some happy/well wishes thoughts her way..please!  

 Not sure what we are doing today..I really need to start packing..nope..still have no clue where we are moving..but I know we do have to be out of here soon..hey..our landlord went and put all of our utility bills in her name..first I can't believe that you can do that..(guess you can because she didn't have things shut off) we were wondering why are bills weren't coming in..think I wrote to Sheila about this..well..we finally got out bills..lol..closing bills..weird huh? Think this lady has lost her mind or something..I mean..now what happens..she has to pay them right? what if she doesn't pay them and they come shut off our water or lights or gas..We've tried calling her..but no answer..do we call and switch them back in our name..Hopefully we will be out of here with in the next week or so..Should we just leave it how it is...hehe..let her pay for the utilities..Just weird that you can call up and do that..but like I said..guess it's okay if you want to put someone elses bills in your name..(thinking out loud here) guess she just jumped the gun and thought we would be out sooner..weird..hehe..just flat out weird to me!

  Okay...off to look up how to do a granny square..


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Monday the 10th of January 2005

10:13 AM

back to work..new boots!

been a few days huh? I get so side tracked when I get on this puter..then I run out of time to update my journal..

Haven't really been doing much..and..dang..I should have gotten a ton of things done since I have been off..but nope..only got a few boxes packed..still haven't found a place to live..<smiles> not sure why I'm not to worried either..I have my moments where I panic..hehe..moments..like a few seconds out of the day then..think..oh well..there's tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow..ughh..hehe..I go back to work..Kids don't start back until Wed. We just have meetings and scheduling to do tomorrow..which..I'm pretty much up to date with everything..just have to make a few calls to the businesses where my students work.

I did have to go in to the district office on Friday for a couple of meetings..very interesting..ended up with 2 more students on my case load..which is okay..actually..I'm really happy about that. It's just going to make a few things uncomfortable for a bit.

  While I was at the DO I was asked to sit in on a couple of interviews..that is always fun..seeings how these people could end up as one of my aides..figure it would be best for me to be in there.  Beside finding out if they are qualified  I like to see if they have a good sense of humor..in our class you really need one. All the people that interviewed were great..was kind of bummed I didn't realize..or should say..think about it..My youngest really wants to work as an aide while she goes to school. She is so good with the kids..no fear at all..I say no fear because..so many people are afraid of "special needs" students. guess though it helps that she's been around them for ever..Not just from me..but from my mom also..My oldest is the same way..I can honestly say neither ever look at "special needs" people like..ewwy..get me away from them...just blows me away that there really are people out there that would totally go the other way when they see a someone "different" coming towards them..yikes..got off track here..anyhow..wish I would have thought about my youngest and had her put in an application. Her and I work well together also..all through school..she was my TA sometime during the day..and she was great..hehe..plus I could boss her around more..hehe..

  So, out of all the people we interviewed (6)..only 4 will get jobs..like I said..they were all so great..glad that the final decision isn't up to me..now lets just hope they all can pass the tests. Ya know, think they should do the testing first..even though they can still be hired if they fail the tests..they do get a couple of tries..not sure how many though..really not sure how all of that works. Then after they do get hired..then they have to do their fingerprint thingy..omg..now something is so wrong with our system..no kidding..it can take months sometimes for the fingerpints clear. From what I've been told..just depends on how busy they are..who ever they are is..why does it take so long for our district to get fingerpints done and cleared..but when you get arrested..don't they run your prints right then and find out right away about you? lol..did that make any sense? Okay..enough of that goofy stuff..shoot..I don't even understand what I was writing about..lol

Been doing some crocheting..I'm working on an afghan..<man thats going to take forever> like I am on here..I just get so side tracked..I'll be crocheting away on it..then think..hey..wonder if I can make this..or that..so..yep..that's what I do..put the afghan down and start playing around..thing I need to do though..when I start to mess around I need to use better yarn..well..not better..seems I have like a ton of white yarn..and I always grab that when I'm trying something out..think one reason is because you can see your  stitches easier..anyhow..I've made..(giggling) and it's so dang cute..at least I think it is..like a bag for my water bottle..wasn't really what I started out to make..but my water bottle fits right in it..now..hehe..I won't have to write my name all over my bottle..I'll use it at work..J and I are always getting our water bottles confused..(I know Sheila I need to take pictures) I also made a little bag for my cell phone..I added some pink ribbon around it and it looks so purrty...and last night I made..well..it's either going to be a pencil bag or a make up bag..I have this thing for pens and pencils..really..it's bad too..anyhow..made this little pouch..(is that how you spell that) then I embroidered (sp) some little pink roses on it using yarn also. I still have to add a button to it..and maybe a few more roses..I just love making things that don't take a lot of time. Here I should be making scarfs..while I was at the DO I got so many compliments on the scarf I was wearing..talk about boosting my ego..I was just so thrilled that they even noticed it..when I said I made it..omg..they all asked if I would make them one..so..now I have 5 scarfs to make. I did start 2 night before last..need to get some more yarn.

  What else was I going to say..ohh..hehe..I'm so excited Hubby got me one of those sweater shaver thingys..ya know..how you get those fuzzy things on your sweaters that no matter what you do you can't get them off..finally found one of those shave things..OMG...it is like magic..giggling..I was just shaving away last night..few black sweaters I've had forever but haven't worn because first time I washed them they got all yucky..now it's like I'll have all these new clothes to wear..hubby said to watch out though..I was having way to much fun shaving..soon I wouldn't have anything left of the sweaters..

 For Christmas I got some pink uggs..love them..haven't taken them off since Christmas..well..I do take them off to sleep..hehe..but thats about it..Yesterday..we went in to K-mart..(thats where I got the shaver) I don't even remember why we went in there..hehe..anyhow..This is so bad..because we are so broke right now..but..they had the cutest black boots..kind of like uggs..Hubby say they look like those black Russian boots..they are all fuzzy in the inside..nice and warm..heaven..<giggling> hubby just laughed when I put them on in the store..he really thinks they are the ugliest boots he's seen..so he really thought I was joking when I said..awe...awe...I want these... ...spoiled little me ended up with new boots too..they were on clearance..they were only 10 bucks..hehe..not bad for Russian boots..cracking up here..last night I was and still am one happy camper..I had my boots on..even did a few jigs for him..umm..now I know why my thighs are sore..from that squatting, jumping up and down..trying to do ya know the Russian leg kicking dance thingy..hehe all while I was holding a sweater buzzing away..giggling..had to show him how happy I was  Can't wait to put them on today..and..can't wait to wear one of my "new" sweaters!!!!

Well..that's it for now..also..back to being the weekend warrior..hopefully I'll have time tomorrow morning to hop on here..if not..see ya this weekend!

But..then again..lol..I just never know when I'll be on here.

Big, big hugs!!!!


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Sunday the 2nd of January 2005

10:06 AM

Wow...hehe..that took forever..and..still not what I totally want..

I know..practice and patience and I'll get this figured out..at least though..sure is fun messing around with everything!

Not sure how easy it is to read for some..sorry..this may sound ummm..witchy..but..tis my journal right..and I do write for me..sure..love to have readers and comments we all do..I just love pink against black..

I still have some work to do on it..I have a journal I keep next to my bed..and..I have done a million little things to it..ya know to make me want to write in it..gotta love what you are looking at and working with when you do "journaling" funny..we used to call it ..(my friends and me when we were younger.."Dear Diary" time...now.."journaling" or "blogging" just sounds so much more important.

Anyhow..just trying to make this "blog" a little more fun for me to look at..really hope it isn't so yucky on others eyes that they won't stop bye..but if it is..ummm.. I mean this in the nicest way.."OH WELL"

Now..hehe..time to go back and play some more with it..

My wonderful friend Sheila Sheila's Web Journal - Bravenet Web Journal and CompuTips & Stuff - Bravenet Web Journal took the time to write me up direction on how to do a few things..like changing the background color..etc..still don't have that totally figured out..well..did get the background color to change..but..hehe..couldn't figure out how to change my font color..ya know..to go with the background color..so..I'll work on that some more..



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Saturday the 1st of January 2005

11:25 AM

Sorry..just messing around..trying to figure out how to change the background color..talk about dummies..hehe..wait..was anyone talking about dummies..well..I am and I'm feeling like a giant one..anyone that want to give me some help...fire away...I'll love ya for life..remember though..if you do decide to send me directions..umm..would ya could ya write them for like a 5 year old..hehe..please..please! Thanks!


<P style="BACKGROUND-POSITION: center top; FONT-WEIGHT: bold; BACKGROUND-IMAGE: url(http://members.aol.com:/justmesuellen/pinkflower); COLOR: #990033; BACKGROUND-REPEAT: repeat; HEIGHT: 100px; BACKGROUND-COLOR: #ffffff">

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Saturday the 1st of January 2005

10:51 AM

Happy New Year!

I just think this picture is so pretty!

Makes me want to get my paints out..hmmm..yepper...think that is what I am going to do later today!

Sorry about not finishing my entry yesterday!!! hehe..I will get back to it..I hope..I think..hmmm..<smiles>

Just wanted to say

HAPPY NEW YEAR ..hope everyone has a beautiful year..all your dreams and wishes come true..well..hehe..not all of them..then it wouldn't be any fun would it!

Big hugs and..kisses!!!

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Friday the 31st of December 2004

8:23 AM

not finished!


hmmmm...<giggling> now when I opened up my journal I had a million things on my mind..can ya believe this..I'm ummm..finger tied..

  Have spent the last few days worring and fighting with my girls..grrrr...

Youngest..boy troubles..<shaking head> hardest part about it all is..hubby and I are totally bumping heads..I can totally relate to how she is feeling..he b/f is a total jerk wait..should say ex b/f (fingers crossed) Hubby wants to just go kick this guys azz..like that is going to do anything..sure isn't going to change how my daughter thinks she feels about him. Hubby just picks the guy apart to her..like she doesn't already know the bad things about him..me..I try and talk to her about the good things in her and sure I might say something kind of negative about the guy..but it's more like..I wish he'd come over here more so we can get to know him better..only thing we know about him is from what you say and from what we see..(her crying or waiting by the phone for him to call) he's been over here several times..not sure what it is though..all the kids that come over..I swear they end up acting like they live here..hehe..shoot seems like most end up living with us..when he comes over..like Christmas day..I made a big breakfast for everyone...oldest daughters b/f was here..(well..he lives here..in our garage..get your minds out of the gutter) few other kids were here...all sitting around the table..not this guy..he stayed on the livingroom couch..(dinningroom and livingroom hook together) Now I didn't make breakfast till hehe..about 1ish..guess it was more of a lunch huh..M (youngest b/f) had said he's mom had made cinnamon rolls for breakfast..and they ate around 10..ya think a growing boy would be hungry by 1..but nope..he chose not to eat with us..youngest said..well..just come sit here with us..meaning her sister sisters b/f and the other 2 guys..plenty of room at the table for him..nope..he just sat in the livingroom with hubby and I..okay..maybe he was being nice and wanted to talk with us..maybe he's shy..hubby tried his hardest to talk with him...but..and believe me..Hubby has the gift of gab..can talk to anyone about anything..it was like pulling teeth...

he stayed for maybe an hour then they went over to his house to have dinner..we were bar-b-queing which we invited him to eat with us..I understand he wanted to eat at home..no biggy...

Not sure what happened over there..Jamie calls me crying wanting to know if we ate yet..actually we were just about ready to start..she told me she was sad and just wanted to come home...like she had to ask me..goofy kid...she said she just missed up..now..yes Jamie does get home sick easy..I just know something else was going on..long story short..she broke up with him lets see..think it was Monday or Tuesday...she's still crying off and on and has missed 2 days of work..grrrr..that is so not like her either..she's my work-o-holic...who knows what she's going to do tonight NEW YEARS EVE! More to this story..but..hehe..boring myself with it...

  Now my oldest..she thinks hubby and I should let her have a party tonight..man oh man was she pissed when we said no...shoot we don't say no to often to either of them..she did finally start talking to me yesterday..yeah..cuz she needed to borrow 100 bucks to pay her cell phone bill..the kicker is..

Okay..I got paid yesterday..believe me..my checks aren't much..I only get paid once a month..but..shoot..after they take everything out for insurance and what not..leaves me with nothing..okay..close to nothing..we always go out to eat though on pay day..and yesterday..to cheer my oldest up..we asked her and her b/f to go with us...

Sorry...have to continue this later..hehe..hubby and I started to play a game..and now..well..have few things I want to look up..don't want to delete it..soo...

Happy NEW YEAR!!!!

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Tuesday the 28th of December 2004

10:56 AM

presents, venting, just me being me..rambling!

So many thoughts going through my head right now...

  First..we had a wonderful Christmas..My girls spoiled the heck out of me..I was feeling so guilty at first..here we couldn't afford to buy them much. I know..I know..it's not about gifts..but still the pressure is there..wanting to get your kids everything..think I've said this before..my girls really don't ever go without much..they are spoiled..but not rotten..which makes you want to do more for them..sure..they aren't always angels..but gosh darn it..love them to death..

 anyhow..did feel a little guilty..but then..I was like..woohoo..this is wonderful..hehe..both girls got me a ton of candles..which I was so low on them..funny too..when I burn my candles they tease me..I don't just burn one or 2..I just have to have a bazillion going..even during the middle of the day..I usually load up on candles after christmas..they are always on sale then..I don't care if they are christmas candles..they all burn the same..so..needless to say..I was one happy camper with all the candles..mmmmm...they got me a new PINK bathrobe that I have been wanting forever..but never said a thing about it..couple of new shirts, the cutest ear rings..plus I got my PINK uggs..and Jamie got me some pink slippers before christmas..so..hehe..I'm all pinked out..oh..Megs got me the cutest aqua blue hmmm...is that how you spell it..sweatshirt with hot pink writing on it..so..hehe..it matches my pink uggs. Too cool!

We aslo ended up asking The man at the gas station over for dinner..what a nice man..we talk to him all the time when we go there..on Thursday we were there filling my bronco up talking away to him..hubby asked..so..whats your plans for tomorrow..the man said..nothing..I work til 4 then..probably just going to go home and kick back..I knew just what hubby was thinking..and yep..Hubby asked him to come over..<smiles> my hubby just had the biggest heart..it amazes me sometimes..here we really don't know this man..he's just always really nice to us..teases me when I'm at the station without Hubby..so..he came over right after work on Christmas..you could just tell he was having a good old time..think he really enjoyed the kids too..he stayed little longer than I thought he would..I was trying so hard not to fall asleep..hehe..

 Think that is becoming our tradition..asking people we don't know over for holiday dinners...seams like the last few years we've done that..and ya know what..we have really enjoyed it..made some wonderful friends. We may not have money..but we do have lots of love to share with others!!

 Last couple of days I've been a bum..stayed on here way to long in the mornings reading "aol" journals and the message board over there.. I just can't seem to figure out how to find journals on bravenet to read..I have followed a few links from my friends journal..I swear..sometimes I'm so clueless..so..if anyone actually reads this..(pssst..Sheila..hehe..send me some direction on how to find journals)

Anyhow..about aol..journals and the message board..sometimes I just don't know why I read the board..giggling..I get so mad and just want to fire back comments..but..thank god I don't..to me..just makes matters worse..that is when it's something bad..meaning..DRAMA.. I just wonder sometimes why people feel the need to write mean things...<giggling> bad of me to say this..but at least when they do..gives me something fun to read! Not saying it's all bad..there truly are some wonderful people on that message board..and thanks to AOL and their journals I have made some special friends..one very close friend :::::waving to sheila:::::

 It's wonderful how some of the people have pulled together to help others out..(speaking of J-landers) now..don't take this wrong..(like I need to worry no one reads this usually) some..and I say some because there are more than one...some have totally taken things a bit to far..and some..are totally la-git..it's hard to explain what I am trying to say without stepping on toes..there is this one person who I feel is taking advantage of some of her friends..sure I feel bad for her..she just lost a grandparent..and I don't know why I bother reading/listening to her journal..maybe cause one day..I just might get the nerve up and tell her..as sweet as she may sound..she needs to grow up and stop taking things from people..her and her hubby need to get off their butts and face the real world and not keep crying to mommy..this person like..gosh..whines and whines..she's good too..hehe..mommy pays for their rent..mommy does this or that..which..okay..thats great..but..really..mommy isn't going to be around forever..and..sooner or later her on-line friends are going to get tired of "helping" her out.. giggling..enough of that..just venting! shouldn't even matter to me..I just hate to see others get hurt because of this persons actions..I know it's going to happen too..

Just like the other drama going on..people pulled together to make a special christmas for someone..my gut feeling told me..in the end..it's all going to blow up..people are going to start fighting...things are going to be said that shouldn't be said..again..think it's great that these people did all of this..but I do think it should have all been kept a little more quiet..now..words have been thrown back and forth..something that was meant to be good has turned out "stinking" well..not totally...

 Crocheting..hmmm..giggling..I have a few things going..man I just suck at reading patterns though..I keep trying and trying..I just end up going by a picture..or what I see in my head..hmmm..might have to do like Sheila says..go get me a book...payday is Thursday..so..when I go hit the craft store for my candles..might check into a book for beginners...and of course get more yarn!

Time for me to go color my hair..hehe..not sure where all this gray has come from..hmmm...

Wishing everyone a wonderful NEW YEARS!

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